What truly matters is shifting how we talk about it. Mary Fisher, a licensed psychotherapist and relationship coach, suggests sayingĀ āmaking your intimate debutāĀ instead ofĀ ālosing your physical status.āĀ She explains thatĀ ālosingāĀ often has negative undertones, whereas aĀ sexual debutĀ should be seen as a positive, empowering experience.
The idea of aĀ āfirst physical statusāĀ carries a lot of outdated and problematic baggage. According to Mary Fisher, itās often tied to old-fashioned beliefs that treat women like property, valuing purity over far more important things likeĀ consent, mutual pleasure, and respect. āSince there are many ways to begin aĀ physical relationshipĀ with someone, it makes more sense to think of yourĀ āintimate debutāĀ as a series of consensual explorations with another person,ā she explains.
Many people defineĀ āthe first timeāĀ asĀ direct partnered activity, but that definition only fits heterosexual couples who seeĀ physical connectionĀ that way. What about LGBTQ+ couples? Or acts likeĀ oral connection, close physical exploration,Ā or evenĀ outercourse?Ā Intimate connectionĀ isnāt limited to one type of activity, so saying thatās the only way to make your intimate debut simply isnāt accurate.
